The Wildest Kind of Pretty Read online

  Chapter 4

  We’re all huddled in a circle on the floor of my room with a bottle in the middle. Kim had originally wanted to play strip truth or dare, but Trevor pointed out he didn’t want to see me naked and me and Kammie were kind of almost there already since our tops were basically bikini tops. So Kim settled with old fashioned spin the bottle. Trevor also pointed out that she and he were exclusive and she said in this game anything goes. Trevor looked like he wanted to argue but she kissed him and told him he had nothing to worry about. Somehow I don’t think he was scared of losing her, “Oh one more thing tongue only! No quick pecks and no kiss on the cheek!” she says eyeing each of us.

  Trevor points at me, “I’m not frenching my cousin! Hell no!” Kim nods and says me and Trev could kiss on the cheek. Then Trevor adds, “and I’m not kissing any guys.”

  Kim raises a brow, “you expect girls to kiss girls!” he doesn’t say anything. So she smirks, “fine you have to hug each other then. And if two girls have to kiss, it can be on the cheek,” she claps her hands, “enough talking people.” She starts the game and spins the bottle.

  The palms of my hands are slick with sweat; the thought of having to kiss someone was making me ten types of nauseous. I wouldn’t be as nervous if I knew I wasn’t the only person in the room who’s never been kissed. Kammie use to be in the same dilemma, but I saw her cross that milestone before my eyes. My heart bounces heavy in my chest, tears well in my eyes and burn my nose, when the image of Kammie and Blake in a lip lock pop in my mind. It still stings, but I don’t give into the weakness, instead I will it all away and remind myself that this is exactly what I wanted.

  I look around the circle; everyone seems so at ease and ready for anything. I feel like I’m the only one who’s always afraid of everything, always letting all the what-ifs tear me down and hold me back. My nerves have a strong hold on me, I feel them coil and snake up my throat, if I don’t get a grip on things fast, I’ll chicken out of the game. I don’t want Kim to think I’m the baby cousin that Trevor has to keep safe all the time, I want this. I’m ready for this. I’m ready to freaking grow up. It’s just a stupid game, a stupid kiss, and if anyone says I’m terrible at it I can blame it on being drunk.

  Before I can stop myself, I lean across the circle towards Blake his eyes get wide like he thinks I’m going to kiss him or something. I don’t let myself analyze the expression on his face, because then I’d be negative and start to doubt myself. And doubt was the last thing I needed. I snatch the bottle of whisky from his hands and take a gulp. I hand him the whisky back and he’s staring at me confused, l look away from him and try not to worry about whatever’s going through his mind.

  I collapse between Kammie and Evan. Evan and Kammie bump heads when they both lean over top of me at the same time. I open my mouth to ask them if they’re alright, but instead a realization hits me, the whisky tasted exactly like water. I decide to tell everyone else that whisky and water is the same thing. Kim gives me the evil eye and tells me it tastes like water because I’m uber drunk. The bottle finally stops and lands pointing at Trevor. She gives a snarky remark and we all comment how the bottle’s fixed as they make out.

  Kim slides the bottle in my direction and I give her a lazy grin as I concentrate at spinning the bottle, with the flick of my wrist it spirals around and around and my mouth runs dry when it points like an arrow at Blake. Blake’s eyes swallow his face and I can see him gulp, I crawl across the floor, get a fist full of his shirt and rise to my knees. I place a hand on his shoulder and push him back against the wall. I straddle his lap and put his arms around my waist. I wrap my arms around his neck and press my lips to his. At first nothing happens and I’m slightly worried I’m doing this all wrong, then I hear a low rumble in his throat and I hear Kim yell, “I said tongue!” At that he splits my lips with his tongue and he swirls it around my mouth. At first it feels weird and slimy but then I get the hang of it and start to kiss him back.

  Fire burns low in my stomach, chills run rapid up and down my body, everything slips away and I’m lost in the moment. His hands circle my waist and roam over my bare belly. Butterflies and fire follow in his wake. I put all of myself into the kiss and nothing else matters. I become consumed with the need to outdo Kammie, I kiss him fierce, I kiss him soft, just when I think I know what I’m doing, I feel his lips slip away and doubt wraps a cold hand around my core, but then he groans against my lips and kisses me over and over. We go like this, I give him passion and he slips just to the point to where I think he’s gone, only to come back and let me taste how much he wants this in his kiss. He makes the kiss a game of cat and mouse, making me feel confused and out of control.

  Doubt attempts to surface, but it all cracks with the brush of his lips and the wisp of his touch. I want to kiss Blake so fiercely that this kiss makes all of Kammie’s kisses pale in comparison. So I give it my best effort, then I break our kiss and nip the bottom of his lip in my teeth before I pull away, guilty and breathless I eye him across the circle.

  Kammie is my best friend, I pushed her in Blake’s direction, and nothing else matters. It doesn’t matter that I was interested in him first, or that his kisses feel electric on my lips. She’s my best friend and she’s with him and that’s all that matters. Nothing else. It doesn’t matter that Blake hasn’t taken his eyes off of me since the departure of our kiss; he eyes me as I sit next to Kammie, and he looks completely irresistible. I should feel remorse for my thoughts, but it’s impossible to feel remorse for something that felt so good.

  He runs a shaky hand through his hair while he catches his breath. My eyes drop to his chest, I watch it rise and fall; chills spill over my arms. I lift my head and our eyes collide, he looks like he’s ready to drag me across the circle for another round. He looks so good, he’s all ruffled hair and breathless, the space between us is thick and heavy, we could be a mile apart and I’d still feel his breath hot on my face because the impression of his kiss was imbedded that deep.

  Kammie pats my back and the spells broken, my eyes fall from his face and land on the bottle. She smiles, “it’s ok for tonight buddy,” she winks at Blake, “tonight everyone’s game,” she shakes a finger at him, “but tomorrow it’s back to being exclusive.”

  I look up from the bottle because I want to see his face when she says they’re exclusive, I want to read his eyes and see for myself that she’s who he wants. My mouth goes dry when his eyes fall into mine, they’re all over me; I feel like I’m coming unglued. He leans to the middle of the circle, my body moves on a will of its own and sways an inch closer to him. It’s a subtle movement, not something anyone else would notice, only the two of us. But I felt it as if it were real; it’s like some unseen force was drawing me closer to him whether it was right or wrong.

  We’re eyeing each other like two star crossed lovers when Kim cackles. I flinch from my stupidity, thankful that the moment was broken because I think I was about to make a mistake. I pull my eyes away and look at everyone else. They’re all deep in conversation and oblivious to the fact that I’m crazy and disloyal.

  My stomach clenches when Kammie throws her arms around me and wraps me in a hug. She squeezes my breath away and tells me to wish her luck. When she hugs me, I feel the taste of mud in the back of my throat; it’s thick and heavy and it burns hot with guilt and betrayal. I feel like shit and in this moment I know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep our friendship. Nothing else matters, nothing.

  Kammie dives for the bottle and spins it. It wobbles and stops pointing at me. We giggle and she kisses my cheek. Evan snaps a couple of pictures of us, but then Trevor tells him to delete that shit and threatens to beat the hell out of him if he doesn’t. Kim dives for the bottle and shoves it at Trevor’s chest.

  Kammie gets a little antsy while we all wait for the bottle to stop. The bottle points at Evan and I make a big deal at whipping out my cell and getting it prepped for the big hug. I snap a pic as Evan and Trevor make a big deal of embr
acing each other. Trevor bats his eyelashes and tells Evan he loves him making us laugh.

  Its Blake’s turn and I can feel my face get hot as I wait for him to spin it; hoping that it doesn’t land on me and praying that it somehow does. Instead of spinning it he stands, “Kim, take my turn I need to piss.”

  Kim snatches up the bottle and gives it a spin, “don’t think you’re off the hook,” he nods and leaves the room. The bottle hits her shoe when she curses and gives it another spin. I’m leaning back and wondering how my kiss was, I know I shouldn’t be, but I couldn’t help but wonder if I was good or not. I think I did a good job because it felt like I did, and it’s not like I could ask him if I did okay. I mean that’d be lame and wildly inappropriate.

  I’m deep in thought when Kim grabs me by the arms. I blink up at her, “I’m going to see if I can kiss like you,” my mind doesn’t have time to register because she slams into me until I’m braced against the foot of the bed. She puts my hands on her hips and wraps her arms around my neck and before I can say otherwise she crushes her mouth against mine. I try to wiggle away but my arms are jelly and I’m completely drained.

  She jumps in my lap and shoves her tongue down my throat. I grimace against her mouth, my stomach twists in protest, this feel gross and overrated. Then I realize this is all a show for her to get attention so I relax and play along. Trevor drags her off of me, “she’s a better kisser than you!” she winks at me and I know it’s all in fun. Then she sobers, “but seriously girl brush your teeth.” I nod and as I catch my breath. Blake is standing in the doorway looking shocked and pissed. I look away with shame glowing on my face.

  Evan shoves his phone in my face, “this time I recorded it all,” he looks at Trevor, “this shit is hot!” Trevor playfully tackles Evan and the two roll around on the floor. It looks like our game of spin the bottle is officially over, and I feel nothing but relieved.

  Kammie and I are talking about going shopping at some point when Kim sits back on her hands, “seven minutes in heaven!” She shouts.

  Trevor and Evan stop mid-scuffle and look up at her like she’s the most amazing person in the world. Kammie bites the inside of her jaw, and I have mixed emotions. Part of me is excited at the aspect of being locked in a closet alone with Blake and the other half is ticked at the first half of me. But Kammie did say that tomorrow they’d be exclusive. Somehow I know this is the drunkard rationale that’s going to make me question my morals tomorrow. I choose this moment to contribute to the rule making, “Okay so we draw names, girls in one cup. Boys in the other.” Kim nods like she likes that idea and looks at me for more rules. I shrug, “that’s my only suggestion.”

  Kim smiles, “Afraid I’ll make you bat for the other team?” I stick my tongue out at her and she just laughs. Kim rips up papers with our names and separates them into two piles. Once she’s finished she looks up at Blake, “it’s your turn to go first since you never spun the bottle.”

  He’s still posted up in the door frame. He nods his head and reaches for a slip of paper. He stares at the piece of paper long and hard. Kim then takes this moment to speak, “For shitsake how long does it take to read a name?” He’s still looking at the paper as if he’s trying to decipher a code, “So do you need me to read it for you or what?” Kim smirks at Blake. Blake flares his nostrils and looks at me. My heart thunders in my chest as he yanks me off the ground. Trevor looks really uncomfortable, probably because he doesn’t want to think about me playing seven minutes in heaven with his best friend. Kim follows us to the closet and ushers us in. She waves her phone in our faces, “you’ll have at least seven minutes. Will it be seven or ten? Careful because you’ll never know,” she winks, “and she’s an excellent kisser,” Kim makes a mock surprised face, “but you already know.” At that she slams the door in our face. Then she rips the door open to the both of us just standing in the same position, “I knew I’d find you like this! Sit, both of you sit, I’m not shutting this door until you do so.” She glares at us while she taps her foot. We both sit causing clothes to collapse over top of us. She laughs, “Now I promise not to interrupt until at least seven minutes.” Then she closes the door, encasing us in darkness.

  I know its lame and all but I kind of don’t like the dark, and I’m really terrified of spiders and I know they like dark places. Sweat beads on my forehead. My hand eases closer to what I hope is Blake’s leg. I can’t feel a thing, but I can hear his jagged breaths, which makes a fire build up in my body. My heart skitters when I feel hot breath against my cheek, and I get really excited when I hear a rustling sound and I feel his body lean into mine. He draws out his cell and a blue light illuminates the closet and gives his face a glow, his eyes glitter in the dark and I come unglued when I see him lick his lips. He eases his hand towards mine and stops when they’re a breath away. Our fingers tremble until he takes a shaky hand and grabs mine. I smile up into his eyes and he tucks a ringlet behind my ear. He leans forward and his lips brush the burnt patch of skin at my temple. I draw in a sharp breath when he whispers, “how many people did it take for you to be able to kiss like that?”

  I close my eyes to steady my heart, “you’re my first kiss,” I whisper back in the dark because the phone light has timed out. He doesn’t go to bring it back to life, which kind of disappoints me because I want to see his face; analyze his expression because he isn’t saying anything.

  He must have read my mind because he feels around and grabs my hands to place them against his face. His lips tremble as he coaxes my fingertips over them and then his mouth breaks his face in a smile. And I can’t help but let out a breathy laugh. The flames lick the inside of my stomach and I am so glad that I didn’t see him smile, because feeling him smile was so much better. I draw in a shaky breath when I feel his hands glide over my bare stomach. He rubs in smooth soft circles, never drifting too high or too low. He kisses my cheek and whispers, “I like that I’m your first kiss.”

  The flames rise from high to low and then they start to crackle and sizzle. First kiss; right, Blake has shared two first kisses tonight from two different girls. My heart sinks and the fire dwindles, “You’re Kammie’s first kiss.” A tear glides down my face and I can feel him stiffen. I think I just ruined the mood and put things in perspective. I feel sick all over; chills dance over my skin, I shiver in the dark and I know he noticed because his hands are still on my stomach. He pulls me closer to him and covers me in his arms.

  He rubs his hands up and down my arms, “you’re cold.” He breathes on the back of my neck; I turn on impulse, he’s stoked the fire without even knowing it was going out. I twist and climb in his lap, funny how even in the dark you still manage to find your way around when you need to. His hands pull me to his chest and I find his mouth. I flick my tongue over his lips and then in his mouth. A moan fills the dark. I climb higher; and deeper into his lap. The flames are roaring high; heat licks me all over until my entire body is consumed with fire. He turns to lay me back; he slides over top of me. Our mouths only break so we can get more comfortable and then I’m tugging him down over top of me; wrapping my legs around his body. We’re deep in the kiss and living in this moment when the floor creaks and we break apart putting distance between us. We catch our breath and brace ourselves for the door to open. He flips out his phone and is busy playing around with it. I finger some clothes on the floor and turn away from him. I hear Kim giggle and do a little countdown, she yanks the door open and light floods the closet.

  Kim frowns at us, “well you’re no fun.” She crosses her arms, but bends low to help me up. My heart is racing, and my body is still heated. I should feel like trash at what I just did, but I don’t. Which is probably the alcohol; the drunkard rationale is telling me there’s nothing wrong with a kiss, it’s not like I lost my virginity and Kammie did say that tonight anything goes. Kim runs over to the pile of names and snags one. She unfolds it and stomps her foot, “Eh, let’s get this over with Evan.” Evan doesn’t look exactly excited to be
with Kim either, which surprises me because I figured Kim was every guy’s dream. Trevor holds up his phone and makes a show of setting the timer.

  I take my place next to Kammie and I notice she can’t stop grinning like a fool. My thinking is a little sluggish right now and I’m trying to figure out why she’s so happy. Kammie leans into my ear, “Trevor will be with me,” I roll my eyes and scowl at her and refrain from saying obviously. Kammie giggles and I steal a glance at cuz. He’s staring at his slip of paper with a look of confusion. Then I hear him tell Blake to grab the last bit of paper and trash his along with it. Blake looks really guilty and he’s rubbing hard at the back of his neck. Blake kicks at the floor with the toe of his shoe and trashes the slips of papers. Kammie has stopped whispering and I look at her and notice she’s waiting for a response.

  “huh?”

  She repeats herself, “I owe it to myself to see what it’s like to kiss Trevor if only for one kiss.” She looks determined and I know the alcohol has made us all crazy.

  I shake my head and I should tell her not to do it, but who am I to give good advice that I don’t even follow? So instead of being a good friend, I say nothing at all and allow her terrible judgment to take her down. I look over at Trevor again and he’s thumping his legs like a wild man and he keeps glancing at his phone. I don’t know if it’s because he’s ready to get his girlfriend out of the closet or if he’s ready to go in the closet with Kammie. But what I do know is he looks like he’s got ants in his pants. He shoots me a look and shakes his head. I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean and I don’t have time to figure it out because Kim opens the door and Evan follows behind her.

  Evan grabs Kim and acts like he’s going to kiss her to mess with Trevor. Kim slaps him away and screeches. Trevor eyes Evan and they exchange a nod. Kim faces Kammie who is already standing. I close my eyes and cover my face, thinking that Kammie doesn’t look obvious at all. Kim turns around and tugs Trev out of the floor and shoves him in the closet. She watches her phone and the room fills with an awkward silence. We all take turns looking at the ceiling and floor.

  I laugh, “Well is it like this every time a couple is in the closet?” I look around the room. Kim looks like she’s going to go off at any second. Evan looks bored and Blake won’t stop staring at me. Minutes pass and I stand and decide I needed to be the one to open the door so Kammie didn’t have to die tonight, “guess I’ll go see what’s up,”

  Kim gives a shrug and acts like she’s not worried; which I know she is because I’m a girl and I can see the tension roll off of her in waves, “it’s not like he’s doing anything.” I nod and give her a weak smile letting her think I agree with her, but really I’m not so sure.

  I make a big show of stomping my feet as a warning. I pause to take a deep breath because I’m scared of what I might see. I open the door and nothing, and I mean nothing could prepare me for seeing Trevor kiss a topless Kammie. I nudge Trevor with my foot and he looks at me with such disappointment in his eyes. I bend down and hiss, “really?!” I grab the bandeau and grit my teeth when I see it’s ripped. “seriously?” I hear Kim ask what’s taking so long when I grab the first shirt I see, and Trevor helps me shove it on Kammie at break neck speed. Kammie chooses this moment to puke all over me and Trev. I shove the ripped bandeau under a pile of clothes.

  I jump out of my skin when Kim shoves me out of the way to see what’s going on, “Ew she blew chunks!” Kim covers her nose and backs away like the closets covered in the plague.

  Kammie crawls out of the closet moaning and spewing puke as she continues to crawl on all fours. Evan hoots random commentary while he videotapes the chaos. I can’t help but laugh at the situation as I chase Kammie around in circles while she’s crawling and spewing. Kim keeps screaming for the bitch to puke in the toilet and I just keep laughing and following her around in circles until I’m dizzy. I stop walking and just stand as still as a statue.

  My stomach doesn’t feel so good, and this all doesn’t seem so funny anymore. My mouth waters; my throat starts to burn. All it takes is one look at Trevor lying on the floor in Kammie’s puke and all of the sudden I’ve got to puke myself. I elbow past everyone and drop to my knees in front of the toilet and just throw it all up. I spit out chunks in between bouts of puke; and I just keep emptying out all of my stomach into the toilet. I feel someone slide in the floor next to me and gather up my hair while I prop my head against the porcelain throne and allow the iciness to soothe my aching head. I hold it there until another wave of nausea takes over and I continue to empty my guts into the toilet. I don’t stop until I dry heave. I sit there a minute and make sure I’m completely done. Sweat dots my forehead and my knees wobble when I go to stand. I groan and I hear someone shushing me and rubbing my back and coaxing me everything will be okay.

  Then someone stands and I hear water running, then I feel a rag gently glide over my face. I smile and murmur thanks. I whisper, “someone might walk in.”

  I hear a chuckle and someone pulls me tight against his chest and rocks me slowly, “I locked the door, I don’t like people watching me puke either,” he kisses the top of my head and even though I’m confused I close my eyes and drift to sleep.